Loose Change

     I was walking through a parking lot with a non-ramper friend a couple of weeks ago and saw a shiny nickel on the ground. I naturally bent over to grab it and she exclaimed, "That money is filthy!" I responded, "Can't help it, it's the ramper in me." Rampers love loose change.

     Found money is exciting to most everyone; however, rampers get an inexplicable thrill at the sight of even a penny on the ground. With the exception of reaching blindly under the dark and terrifying vending machine, a ramper will pick up change that most people would not touch without long sleeves and gloves. I have a jar full of change, some of which is caked with debris I have not yet been able to identify. Who cares? It's found money and in the old days of Ramen noodles, these lost treasures often led to a meal. 

  

     In the old days, finding a few quarters was like winning the lottery as we were able to take our loot to the spinning vending machine (affectionately known as the "Wheel of Death") and get a bean burrito for a buck. Yet, now that we earn a decent wage, we still jump at the sound of metal hitting the floor. One ramper in particular comes to mind (rhymes with bump). She literally dives out of her chair in the break room when some poor unfortunate drops a coin while at the machine. This behavior became so notorious that another guy began to randomly drop a handful of pennies just to watch the action. Harmless scuffles ensued at times, all for the sake of a few cents.

     Admit it, on or off the ramp, you jump at any shiny object that just might be a coin. You wait for your flights by a tail cart and scour it carefully for something that might have dropped out of a bag. You only do a FOD walk in the hopes of finding something valuable; with extra focus on the areas where the belt loaders get pulled up to the plane. 

     This curious phenomenon is just another behavior that solidifies Rampers as separate class of society.

The Ramper Diet

    We have two steadfast rules to our diet: 1) You buy it, we'll eat it; 2) You make it, we'll drink it.

COFFEE

     All year round and 24/7, we drink coffee. Fancy $6/cup drinks, Starbucks, something that originated in a silver bag, or a cup right out of the vending machine. (which I still believe to be a combination of Jet-A and rust) As the years have passed, I have become more of a coffee snob but I do remember the days of endless doubles when any coffee was welcome. Once a pot is started, we wait until just enough has dripped then we pour ourselves a cup. This can be potent and I contend could be lethal in a concentrated form. It's so strong it's not even black or brown any longer, it has a burnt orange hue and will bring tears to your eyes if brought too near; yet we ingest this magic fluid into our bodies. Then, if that's not bad enough, we reheat the stuff! If we take a sip then have to run out to work a flight, we save the orange potion to reheat in the microwave when we get back inside. We drink several cups in this manner then at the end of the day recite every other possible reason as to why we do not feel well. What's wrong with us? We save the deadly concoction for one simple reason; it was free.

FOOD

     Nothing excites a ramper more than free stuff, and when that stuff is food, we are elated. It doesn't matter what kind of food we see, we just know that we want it. I've eaten some things that I still can't identify. I've given this some thought and have come up with a few reasons that may explain this phenomenon. First, when many of us started on the ramp we existed on a salary that provided for Top Ramen 13 days a pay period. You see, on payday, we stopped at Whataburger on the way home after a double, as we longed so desperately for any semblance of meat. Given those circumstances, if anyone ever walked into the break room and started to ask, "You want....?", we said yes, not even knowing what we were being offered; we just knew it wasn't Top Ramen. Although we now earn a decent wage, I believe, to some extent, that mindset has remained and we will never let something free pass us by.

     Another reason may be that we have the mindset of a family. Think about this; we play (work) together, watch TV together, fight like heck one minute and laugh like hell the next, pick on each other to no end, and yes, we eat together. Now, if 15 guys are at a table and someone brings in a dozen donuts, are you really going to let your little brother get one while you come out empty handed? You're going to fight for any little crumb you can get.

     The third conclusion is sheer laziness. On our Mondays, we're pretty well prepared. The night before we pack a nice lunch and have it all ready to grab in the morning. After that, the week goes down the drain. We come home tired, stinky, and hungry. After we shower and eat, the tired takes over and it's lights out. There's no time or motivation to pack a lunch and because of a lengthy nap on the couch, bed time gets pushed back a few hours and we all know what that leads to; getting up late. We do the minus 15 routine and live off the vending machines. Ah yes, we do love the Strawberry Pop-Tarts. This goes on all week causing the Pop-Tarts to lose their allure, so if even a hint of free food nears the break room, we're all in. 

     

That, my friends, is the story of a ramper's dinner table.

Ramper to Ramper

     Hi fellow rampers. This is a blog for rampers and those who love us. We live a different life from the mainstream and let's face it, we're kids in adult bodies. I say that, not as an insult but rather as a testament to our ability to persevere. There are two worlds for us, the airport and "real life."  Our lives are very different and not everyone is cut out for a life on the ramp. Our language, attitude, physical ability, and yes, even clothing are unique to us. For example, we go to work in our "play" clothes every day. While people in real life get up early enough to groom themselves and don adult clothes, we hop out of bed at minus 15 (you all know what that means), feed the dogs, find clean shorts and a t-shirt and run out the door. Our only goal is to get that finger on the time clock before our start time. We get our assignments, work a couple of flights, then eat lunch at 10:00. Our down time consists of cards, TV, and dominoes; just like when we were kids in kid bodies. Crossword puzzles are HUGE in our lives. One guy (everyone is a "guy" on the ramp) scrounges for a paper and makes copies of the puzzles for all. Once break-time is over, it's back to work with a full belly then we sit for the last 15 minutes or so, willing the clock to move faster. Then we move faster.
     No one on this earth walks faster than a ramper at quitting time. You see guys all day who struggle to walk to a belt loader and fall asleep holding chocks but by God when it's out time, we come to life like an Olympian. The end of a shift is magnificent, unless you're one of the many who are on a double. The end of an A.M. shift can be heartbreaking for someone stuck for another 8 hours. Watching everyone leave and picturing yourself doing the same can be pure torture...until pay day. You know who works back-to-back dubs without even asking. You come in the next morning to find them either draped over a table in the break room, asleep on a bench in the locker room, or simply sitting alone, staring straight ahead with no eye movement at all. Another tell tale sign is the guy's hair. Bed heads are everywhere, some have t-shirts on inside out and more often than not, 2 different socks. No, the break room in the morning is not a pretty place.
     This is just my 1st installation for this blog. I will post often and touch on such topics as weather, managers, everyday ramp life, and of course every one's favorite topic, TSA. Enjoy and if you like what you read, pass it on to anyone who loves a ramper.