Spring Broken

Ah, Spring Break...

Lines out the door. Bags spilling from carts. Teenagers let loose. It all adds up to the most dreaded time of year...Spring Break. Sure, Christmas and Thanksgiving are crazy busy with people and bags everywhere, but only Spring Break allows teenagers and 20-somethings to run amok. Not so long ago I was a ramper and a University student at the same time. The second to last day of classes (because I was usually alone on the last day) before break, saw students excited with anticipation. Not me. Every time I heard someone say they were headed to Cancun or Lauderdale, I wept a little. Really, tears were in my eyes and pain radiated throughout my body as I knew not only how much luggage they would bring but was also keenly aware of how they would behave.
     First of all, I was assumed that most would sleep through the alarm and be at the counter at the last minute then have a fit that they had to wait so long. And as far as the minority of Breakers that showed up early, I knew that once they got past TSA, the upperclassmen (aka, those 21 and older) would head straight to the bar so they could feel grown up with a Bloody Mary. That's when the real trouble would begin. Alcohol + a 21 year old headed to the beach with his peers= trouble. But hey, we get to stay below wing and just deal with the enormous bags they packed. Although some of the younger guys (and those that think they are younger guys) venture up to the concourse to see what the Breakers look like. Male and female rampers alike look forward to seeing what the Breakers are wearing this year. Yeah, that's it....they want to see what's in fashion.

     Unfortunately for some of the freed students, they have one too many at the bar and either miss their flight or act like such jack-asses, they get thrown off the plane. I overheard one inebriated young man, who the captain ejected along with 11 of his friends, calling his daddy to make everything ok. While he did this, the aircraft pushed. He caught me out of the corner of his eye and shouted, "Do you know who my father is?!" I leaned in to whisper in his ear, "Yes, I do but I promised your mother I wouldn't tell." The gate agent howled while the brilliant student with the important father is probably still trying to understand what I meant.
     Once the herd has been sent to the next stop, they forget about their airport woes and frolic on the beaches of Mexico, California, and Florida. Then they must return; however, they don't have that same sparkle in their eyes as when they left. As it is doing now, Spring Break eventually comes to an end. While rampers the world over rejoice, the kids nurse horrific hangovers and try to do some explaining to their parents. As we contemplate what the Spring Breakers have done to us, our worn-out and relieved bodies walk through the airport and see what they've done to themselves: